Morelli's Regret
by christibabe
Summary: This song-fic takes place 10 years after The Talk.  It's from Morelli's point of view.  Not sure how well it works.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The character belong to J.E.

The song is I Honestly Love You sung by Olivia Newton John

This is a song-fic that takes place several years after The Talk

Joe Morelli walked into Pino's and glanced around. There she was in the back. He smiled and made his way over. "Hey cupcake. How's it going?"

Stephanie Plum smiled widely and replied, "It's going great Joe. Have a seat."

He sat down, his eyes never leaving hers.

_Maybe I hang around here_

_A little more than I should_

_We both know I got somewhere _

_else to go_

_But I got something to tell_

_you_

_That I never thought I_

_would_

_But I believe you really _

_ought to know_

_I love you,_

_I honestly love you_

His gaze raked over her. She carried her age well. Hard to believe the changes the past ten years had wrought. She was just as lovely as ever and every time he saw her his heart took a direct hit. He still loved her after all these years.

_You don't have to answer_

_I see it in your eyes_

_Maybe it was better left_

_unsaid_

_But this is pure and simple_

_And you must realize_

_That it's coming from my_

_heart and not my head_

_I love you,_

_I honestly love you_

She'd finally quit the bonds business and taken a full time job. Unfortunately, the job was with Rangeman. He had to admit she excelled at the job. He was happy for her and yet sad that she hadn't quit for him when he'd wanted her to.

_I'm not trying to make you feel_

_uncomfortable_

_I'm not trying to make you_

_anything at all_

_But this feeling doesn't come along_

_every day_

_And you shouldn't blow the chance_

_When you have the chance _

_to say, I love you_

"_I love you"_

_I honestly love you_

She'd gotten married to Manoso three years after she'd finally broken it off with me. No one was more shocked than I was. From what Steph said, Manoso said he didn't do marriage. There'd been a close call though when she'd been shot by a skip and she wasn't expected to pull through. Manoso lived at the damn hospital and was inconsolable. When she'd come through he'd dropped to his knees and told her he loved her more than life and wanted her to marry him. She'd refused at first saying she would never ask that of him because she knew it wasn't what he wanted. She'd led him on a merry chase for nearly 4 months before Manoso convinced her he was serious.

_If we both were born_

_In another place and time_

_This moment might be_

_ending in a kiss_

_But there you are with yours_

_And here I am with _

_mine_

_So I guess we'll just be_

_leaving it at this_

_I love you,_

_I honestly love you_

_I honestly love you_

We talked for quite a while as we ate. Finally, I knew our time was over. I looked over to Manoso and nodded. "Thanks for coming."

He nodded, "Stephanie loves Pino's pizza. I like to indulge her when I can."

I laughed because I knew it was expected of me. I let my gaze roam over their three children, two boys and a girl. The girl was the spitting image of her mother with a darker café late complexion. The girl was watching my own son Danny as he wiped his mouth with his napkin. My wife and daughter were setting up our next supper date with Steph. These meetings were a double edged sword. I had to see her, my love for her demanded it. Yet it still hurt to see her happy with someone else. Finally, we all stood and I wrapped my arms around her and whispered, "I honestly love you cupcake." She froze like she did every time I ended our night like this and stepped back. Her eyes uneasy as her hand reached for Manoso's.

"I enjoyed seeing all of you again Joe. Be happy."

With that we all made our way to the door. I couldn't help but hear Manoso ask her, "You okay Babe?"

"Yeah Batman. He's still hurting though and it makes me sad to see that."

"He should be happy with his own family."

Manoso was right. I _did _love my wife, but it wasn't the same as the love I still felt for Stephanie. I was greatful my wife let me keep in contact with Steph, and I truly adored my two kids. Maybe someday the pain would stop but for now I embraced it. Hell, it meant I was still alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize as J.E. are hers. Any other character is a figment of my imagination and any similarities to real persons is merely a coincidence.

This is a song-fic. The song is I'm Not Lisa by Jessie Coulter.

Not sure on the tissue warning so maybe you want to have one handy just in case

Robin Morelli's POV:

Tonight was our monthly Pino's dinner with Stephanie and Ranger Manoso. I watched Joe get ready with a heavy heart. We had been married for nearly 6 years now, and our oldest Danny was 5. The dinners had started shortly after Danny's birth. I would smile through the meal, talk and make nice even though a part of me couldn't help but morn for what might have been. I knew I had Joe's love, but I also knew that she had his heart...still.

_I'm not Lisa, _

_my name is Julie_

_Lisa left you_

_years ago_

_My eyes are not blue_

_But mine won't leave you_

_Till the sunshine_

_has touched your face_

I'd met Joe 7 years ago. I'm a nurse at St. Francis and he'd come in with one of his cop buddies who'd been shot. I think I fell in love the minute I saw him. We ran into each other several times when he came to visit his buddy, and it was during one of those visits that he asked me out. I couldn't say yes fast enough. He took me to Pino's that night too. I didn't understand all the looks we got, but I guess it was his way of showing his buddies and neighbors that he had moved on. I didn't know about Stephanie then.

_She was your morning light_

_Her smile told of no night_

_Your love for her grew_

_with each rising sun_

_And then one winter day_

_his hand led hers away_

_She left you here _

_drowning in your tears, here_

_Where you've stayed for years_

_Crying Lisa, Lisa_

It didn't take long for the gossip to reach my ears. I gave Joe the benefit of doubt though and I asked him about his relationship with Steph. He told me about their history, and also that she'd broken it off with him three years before. She had said she was in love with Ranger. He's said he was over her and ready to move on. I believed him, but I think it was because I wanted to believe him. I was already falling fast. So when he proposed, I said yes. Five months after the wedding I learned I was pregnant and I felt life couldn't get any better. Little did I know...

Danny was four months old when Joe suggested having dinner with Steph and her family. I agreed because I was so happy and didn't see what it could hurt. Joe came home early that night and raced to get ready. The look on his face as we drove to Pino's...what I wouldn't give to have him look at me like that. My world shattered a little when we made our way inside and I watched him great her. My gaze drifted to the man standing beside her. His gaze was full of sympathy. I tried to hate Stephanie, but I couldn't. It didn't take any time at all to see Ranger was her world. Him and their son Dante. She let slip they were expecting another child and I tried to ignore the pain in Joe's eyes.

_I'm not Lisa,_

_my name is Julie_

_Lisa left you_

_years ago_

_My eyes are not blue_

_But mine won't leave you_

_Till the sunlight shines_

_through your face_

_I'm not Lisa_

Stephanie and I became friends in our own right. Over time I decided I could allow Joe this one night each month because the rest of the time he was devoted to me and our family. I knew he loved me and I let that be enough, even though there were times when I wished he'd look at me the way he still looked and her whenever he saw her. Maybe someday he'd look at me like I was his world.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize as J.E. are hers. Any other character is a figment of my imagination and any similarities to real persons is merely a coincidence.

This is a duel son-fic. The first song is He Stopped Loving Her Today by George Jones and the second is Time In A Bottle by Jim Croce.

This is the last chapter and takes place 50 years after Morelli's Regret-1st chapter. You might want to have the tissues handy just in case.

**WARNING**: Character Death

Joe's POV:

Today I watched Cupcake one final time at the cemetery. It hurt me to see the grief on her face. I'd seen her grieve like that once before when her parents and grandma Mazur had died in a fire nearly 50 years ago. She'd been inconsolable that day till he showed up. He'd dropped to the ground and she'd launched herself into his arms. How I'd wished it could have been me..

_If I could save time in a bottle_  
><em>The first thing that I'd like to do<em>  
><em>Is to save every day till eternity passes away<em>  
><em>Just to spend them with you<em>

My wife Robin sat beside her. They'd become fast friends over the years, and I couldn't help but be jealous of their friendship. We'd gotten close the first 6 years Robin and I had been married. We had supper at Pino's once a week for those 6 years. Then suddenly Cupcake started begging off, making excuses why they couldn't make it. I hounded her for weeks until Manoso had called and told me to meet him at Pino's. He was already there when I arrived, sitting with his back to the wall. I reluctantly sat down and demanded what was so important I had to meet him.

_If I could make days last forever_  
><em>If words could make wishes come true<em>  
><em>I'd save every day like a treasure and then<em>  
><em>Again, I would spend them with you<em>

He looked me in the eye and told me there weren't going to be anymore meals. He and Steph had talked, and they weren't going to help me hurt Robin anymore then I already had. He told me to get my head out of my ass before I destroyed my chance of happiness. He said it hurt Stephanie that I didn't seem to be able to move on. She couldn't return my feelings, and he wasn't going to allow her to be hurt by me anymore.

_But there never seems to be enough time_  
><em>To do the things you want to do, once you find them<em>  
><em>I've looked around enough to know<em>  
><em>That you're the one I want to go through time with<em>

I pretended for all our sakes after that. Pretended I was happy with my life. Oh I did love my wife, but she wasn't the love of my life Stephanie was. I did my best to make Robin happy after that. I guess I succeeded. I knew she and Steph still got together with the kids, but it was rare I was ever included.

_If I had a box just for wishes_  
><em>And dreams that had never come true<em>  
><em>The box would be empty, except for the memory of how<em>  
><em>They were answered by you<em>

As I watched Robin and Stephanie today, I came to realize what I should have known all along. As much as I love Stephanie, she wasn't right for me. She was right. I wanted a wife who would be happy staying at home and raising my children, and cook my meals and make a home for us. That wasn't Stephanie. She could never be happy with just that. She needed more to make her happy. Ranger gave her that. It was then I knew Robin was the right person for me all along.

_But there never seems to be enough time_  
><em>To do the things you want to do, once you find them<em>  
><em>I've looked around enough to know<em>  
><em>That you're the one I want to go through time with<em>

I watched as the tears streaked down Robins face and I wished I could take her in my arms just one more time and let her know how much I truly loved her. Unfortunately, my realization came to late. I looked around at all of those who'd come to pay their final respects. Nearly ever officer not on duty was there as well as several firefighters. Melanie sat beside her mother with her husband and children close. My son Danny stood holding his wife. She was the spitting image of her mother at that age. I had to smile. I was glad my son married the love of his life. None other then Cupcake's own daughter Katie. They had two children, a son and daughter. Katie was every bit as independent as her mother had been. Danny was able to accept that. I looked up at the sky and said a silent prayer. I was being called away. I had time for one more glance. I watched as Ranger took Steph in his arms and held her close, and then I gently kissed Robin's cheek and let myself drift to some unknown destination. As I floated I heard the priest bidding me farewell. I looked at the headstone that would be erected and read,_ 'Joseph Anthony Morelli, beloved husband and father, rest in peace.'_

Robin's POV:

I felt the tears streaming down my face as I listened to the priest speak over Joe. My heart felt heavy, knowing I would be without the man I love for my remaining days. My only consolation is my children and grandchildren. My daughter Melanie was married with three children and my son Danny had married Stephanie and Ranger's daughter Katie and they had a son and daughter. I think that was one of the happiest days of Joe's life when they got married.

_He said I'll love you 'til I die_  
><em>She told him you'll forget in time<em>  
><em>As the years went slowly by<em>  
><em>She still preyed upon his mind<em>

I couldn't help but be grateful to Stephanie and Ranger. After 6 years of weekly dinners at Pino's, they'd suddenly called a halt to my weekly torture. Steph and I still got together often, but it was always without Joe. I got the impression Ranger had a talk with Joe, because he suddenly pretended that everything was great and acted like he didn't miss seeing Steph at all. Unfortunately, I knew he was lying.

_He kept her picture on his wall_  
><em>Went half crazy now and then<em>  
><em>He still loved her through it all<em>  
><em>Hoping she'd come back again<em>

I wasn't stupid though. I accepted what Joe gave me and made the best of my life. I couldn't help but think he was finally happy today. He had a smile on his face that looked so real, it was hard to believe there was no life behind it.

_Kept some letters by his bed_  
><em>Dated 1962<em>  
><em>He had underlined in red<em>  
><em>Every single I love you<em>

Joe had left me well provided for. I would have no financial worries for the rest of my life. I looked around and for a moment thought I actually saw Joe standing watching me. There was such a look of love on his face. But, I knew that couldn't be right.

_I went to see him just today_  
><em>Oh but I didn't see no tears<em>  
><em>All dressed up to go away<em>  
><em>First time I'd seen him smile in years<em>

I felt Danny's hand come to rest on my shoulder. I reached up and grasped his hand in mine.

(Chorus)  
><em>He stopped loving her today<em>  
><em>They placed a wreath upon his door<em>  
><em>And soon they'll carry him away<em>  
><em>He stopped loving her today<em>

The priest finished speaking. I stood and looked down at the casket where my husband lay. Tears once again falling down my face. I couldn't help but think, maybe now he could be at peace.

(Spoken)  
><em>You know she came to see him one last time<em>  
><em>Oh and we all wondered if she would<em>  
><em>And it kept running through my mind<em>  
><em>This time he's over her for good<em>

I turned when Stephanie reached me. I smiled through my tears and thanked her for coming. I told her I knew he would be pleased. She hugged me and told me I was the right person for him. That I was the person he needed. I was everything he needed. I thanked her. I didn't tell her my thoughts. Yes, I might be what he had needed, but I definitely wasn't what he wanted. The heart loves who it loves. We can't change that no matter how much we might want to. I had a good life. I was content.


End file.
